How to Stay Sane as a New Mom

Being one of the first in my group of friends and family (this generation of my family, that is) to have a baby, life can be tough at times. I suddenly find myself plagued with responsibility. Not that I've ever been a particularly irresponsible person, but it was nice to know I could take a day off of life if I wanted to. You know, those Saturdays when you really should catch up on work and chores but you just say, "Aw, to heck with it!" and then you sleep in, read an entire book without interruption, play video games with your husband while eating junk food and go wherever the night takes you. Those Saturdays no longer exist for me, and I will mourn them briefly here: wahhhhh. Okay, I'm done.

On a serious note, however, it is tough to accept the responsibility of raising another human being. Maybe it didn't used to be such a life-altering event, but nowadays our society flinches at and shirks off responsibility whenever possible. I think it's why we see so many damaging choices made by many nowadays; people want to do what they want when they want it and not care about the consequences. When you have a little munchkin to protect, though, every changes. It's as though, most of your adult life, you've been looking through one of those kaleidoscope toys and then you suddenly adjust the scope and all of the shapes and colors change. It's not a bad thing; it's just completely different.

One of the strangest changes is that I feel this bizarre hyper-awareness of the many faults of society. Wow, that sounded more intense than I think it is. Honestly, however, when you have a baby, you look at the news through new eyes, questioning, "What's life going to be like for him when he grows up?", "Is the world going to be safe?", "How can I protect him from all the crazy people out there?", "What can I do to help make sure he'll make the right choice in life and not be influenced by all the negativity and creepiness of the world, the media, etc?" Of course, I want my son to think and act for himself, but it can be a difficult concept to wrap my head around at times: a little person that came out of me can actually become his own person. Whoa, trippy. Or maybe I just had too much coffee this morning...


Another weird situation that makes me feel off-kilter is the fact that I'm fairly certain my personality has changed as a result of Rayden's birth. It's not like I'm actually a different person, but it's the kaleidoscope metaphor again (this time, I'm the kaleidoscope; I'm the same being but I switched to a slightly different color frequency). I ventured forth last night and did a little research (gasp!) to go along with my writing because I wanted a solid answer to this question: Can your personality really change when you become a mother?

After riding the pregnancy and post-pregnancy rollar-coaster of emotions for quite a while, it's difficult to remember what's normal. Or, well, as normal as life can be with a brand new, incredibly needy person in it. From delving into the Psychology Today, What to Expect, Baby Centre and Psychological Science websites, as well as a few parenting blogs, I believe that there is enough evidence to show that a few personality traits do indeed evolve for good. Here are a few traits that tend to get kicked to the curb after having a baby: selfish, lazy, impatient, independent, orderly/neat, vain, daring, spontaneous, idealistic. The ones that seem to increase include the following: compassionate/sympathetic, paranoid/protective, easygoing/adaptable, capable and realistic. Some of these may seem obvious; others may be a surprise. Personally, I feel that many of these apply to me.
I suppose it's obvious that your laziness or impatience would quickly evaporate when a tiny person demands your attention both day and night for months. When you're going on 5 hours of sleep a night and trying to work, keep your house in some semblance of order, and constantly cycle through diaper changes, feedings, play time and comforting, it's laughable to think that you were ever once even a bit lazy or selfish, for that matter. Vanity can easily slip away when you're typically covered in drool and baby food, are leaking breastmilk and have no clothing that fits. You become more capable and easygoing as you learn to roll with the punches of each new baby-led adventure. Daring, spontaneous, independent...these exciting traits don't fade entirely but I feel like you become less focused on having adventures and fun and more focused on caring for a little person and ensuring their success and happiness. I've already mentioned in earlier posts about how I can fully understand the "crazy attack mom" syndrome that would likely be filed under "paranoia" for medical purposes. Hey, I accept it. Maybe the toughest one to accept is an exchange of idealism for realism. I like to think I've always been a realist, but then again, I think of times in my life where I just thought, "Wouldn't it be awesome if..?" and I ran with it, without thinking of the outcome. That's how I ended up spending a semester abroad without knowing anyone overseas. It ended up being an awesome experience, but I probably would've chickened out if I thought it through and contemplated facts like affordability, being able to complete my coursework on time, the scare level of not knowing anyone within a 3,000+ mile radius, etc. I think trading in idealism for realism is bound to happen when you're suddenly faced with a lot of very real stressors and issues. Gone are the days of dreaming about what could be; you have to kick yourself into gear and do what needs to be done to raise your family and keep things going. Again, it's not a bad shift; it's just different.

So, there you go. I'm staying relatively sane and having fun watching Rayden grow and learn something new everyday. It's a paradox of wild, incredible insights/adventures and mellow (okay, sometimes outright boring) repetition but it's an experience that I honestly wouldn't trade for all of the lazy Saturdays in the world.

Baby Swim Joys and Fails

 Ray began baby swim classes two weeks ago. This past month, after literally a lifetime of disliking baths, he has finally started to show interest in water, splashing and smiling at bath time. I figured that it would be an excellent opportunity to begin classes at the YMCA.

Now, I'm a recent first-time YMCA member. I always felt a little nervous about joining the Y, convinced that everyone else there would be way more athletic and fitness-obsessed than I am. This winter, they had a promotion around New Year's that included a really affordable first month and waived all of the joining fees, so I finally made the leap to join the club. Then, I heard about the baby swim lessons, an awesome way for Rayden to get out and make friends while having fun! The Y would be a great place for him, as well!

For the most part, the little guy has loved the water during his first two lessons! The other kiddos range in age from 6 months up to 2 years, so the variety in their motor skills is fairly extraordinary. Ray is at the younger end of the spectrum, of course, but he likes splashing, watching the other kids, and trying to move himself through the water. He has been very independent lately (these days, he struggles against anyone who tries to cuddle him if he doesn't want it; he also tries to feed himself and moves himself by inch-worming his way around the floor in a desperate attempt at crawling, which is hilarious to see!). Naturally, he loves the sensation of propelling himself through the pool. We sing songs in class, too, and he loves the singing and tries to join in with his own unique noises. Unfortunately, though, for all of the awesomeness that is swim lessons, we newcomers manage to fail from time to time.

Fail #1: Swim Diapers. No, don't worry, I didn't forget the swim diapers! However, I didn't realize that every other infant and toddler in class would be equipped with his or her own adorable little swimsuit on top of said swim diaper. I had no idea they even made suits that small! And Rayden, with his incredibly impressive bowels, managed to poop before the lesson finished. The diaper kept it all in, thank God, but apparently, you can see right through those wet swim diapers and I was getting the stink eye from one of the other moms. Oops! Since we didn't have a spare swim diaper, and it apparently wasn't bothering him, I just let the little guy continue to play and splash for a bit longer before heading out. Plus, you know, the chlorine was working its magic, I'm sure. I figured, no harm done :) It got me to thinking that maybe that was why the others wore their mini swimsuits; what you don't know (or can't see) can't hurt you! 

Fail #2: Swim Trunks. After the diaper incident, I figured that we should invest in a pair of miniature boys swim trunks for the little dude. We shopped around a bit to no avail. Finally, I saw that Shopko was having an epic summer baby sale, so we found him a little Mickey swim suit for 1/2 off. Of course, the smallest size they had was 12months, so the shorts slide down his little butt just a bit and reach nearly to his feet. (Where the heck are these other mothers finding a smaller size suit?) Still, the little guy wore the shorts and we were feeling fairly successful all around for the second class. Much to our surprise, one of the other moms had her little man clad only in a diaper this time! She smiled at us, and we decided that maybe the other mothers at the Y aren't too hoity-toity after all.

Fail #3: Cold Water. Can't do anything about this one. The pool was super cold during our second class since they'd turned the temperature down for a swim meet the evening before. As a result, when the instructor suggested we just dunk our little ones into the water for the "Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall" game she likes to start with, Ray did not appreciate the burst of cold water on his tiny body (and I only dipped him in up to the waist!). As my son burst into his screaming wails, the other kids all played about as if the water wasn't 40 degrees. (Okay, so I exaggerate. It wasn't that cold, but the little man's skin is sensitive.) We quickly made our way out of the pool and bundled up, only to cower on the steps and watch the lesson while we gradually made our way bit-by-bit back into the water. He tolerated this more gradual approach but burst into tears again near the end, making him the only baby to date to cry in his class (much less twice in one 30-minute period). Awesome.

Well, there you have it. Swimming has certainly had its ups and downs so far, but I hope he comes to love the lessons. I remember enjoying swim lessons as a kid at the local high school pool; it was so much fun learning to dive and mastering the strokes (I use the word "mastering" lightly here; there are legitimate swim pros in my family, but I am certainly not one of them!). By summertime, the little guy's swim trunks will likely fit a bit better and he'll be ready to explore the real water as we move up to Lake Superior! Just kidding! I don't think that big freezer of a lake is appropriate for an infant, but there are many lakes and pools to be explored in WI and Northern MI, and we are bound to have a fun and adventurous summer. Bring on the sunshine and warm(er) water!

Writing for Writing's Sake

Since my last post was about the perils of the publishing world, I've decided to make this one about my reasons for writing that are not related to publishing.

As some of you may know, I've been writing stories since I could hold a pen...or, at least, pretty darn close to it. I remember one of my earliest stories was about my younger sisters being chased by a vacuum. (Sorry, ladies!) I also recall a story about a girl who wants a world without rules and finds herself trapped aboard a lawless pirate ship until she confesses that she does indeed need law and order in her life. It certainly wasn't Pulitzer Prize-worthy, but, as I look back on that tale now, it seems like it has the potential for more than a middle school writing assignment...however, I really should finish the novels I'm already working on first!

If I had to label it, I would say that the greatest joy of writing is the ability to bring other worlds to life. One of my students told me the other day that she loves reading because "you can have an adventure anywhere!" I told her that this element carries over into the writing realm, as well. Any time you desire, you can visit real or imagined lands; you can also transform into anyone you like, temporary though it may be. This probably makes me sound ridiculous, but it is beautiful in a way, too
: to be able to travel to another life or universe without leaving the security of your own little slice of the world. (Insert inspirational image...or three.)

For me, the main blessing of writing is that it has always helped me to organize my thoughts. As a kid, I was hopelessly shy. My middle school teachers are shocked today when they learn that I stood in front of a classroom of high school kids for two years. Part of the reason that I wasn't very outgoing and quick to talk was because the words always seemed to come out wrong. In front of family and close friends, I was just fine. However, if caught off guard or in front of an audience (however small), a jumble of word vomit would shoot out of my mouth and I would then panic, making it even worse until I sounded completely incoherent. This situation kept me from raising my hand in class, participating in games and sports where you had to call out across a field or court, and attracting too much attention in any situation. Being able to write down my thoughts and feelings made the world a much better place. I think the first time I realized that by organizing and writing my thoughts I could do just about anything was when I was selected to give the salutatorian speech at my 8th grade graduation. I reordered those words until they were perfect and memorized them until I could say them with my eyes closed (even though I would clutch my notes desperately when standing in front of hundreds of my peers' closest family and friends on the big day). That was just the starting point, but I became more brave and willing to improvise as the years went on. Now, I'm to the point where I'm no longer frazzled by those awkward "get to know each other" games in small group settings and I'll even seek conversation with strangers in supermarkets or long lines. I feel that my words are my own now, and I control them in my conversations as well as in my novels. In both situations, anything is possible.

Coming from that experience, I feel almost a physical pain when my students tell me that they hate writing. I think to myself, How can you possibly hate imagination and thought? Because that is basically what writing is. Sometimes I tell them this, and they brush me off. Other times they give me excuses, such as fears that their spelling sucks or that their grammar is goofy. Those excuses don't fly with this English teacher. I tell them to forget about the miniscule details of punctuation, spelling, and vocabulary; for now, just write! It's amazing what your average middle school or high school student is capable of when they let these fears go. I mean, just think of how fearless teenagers are in a typical situation. (I don't know about you, but I jumped off a railroad trestle over a lake as a teen; we tend to do stupid stuff at that time in our lives.) I tell my students to focus on emotion and content first; you can always go back and revise the crap out of what you write. I know I do that with everything from story-writing to emails for my students' parents. Worse case scenario, someone else can help you perfect it. Now, this writing inspiration certainly doesn't work for everyone, but it can be an uplifting experience. An element as simple as a pen to paper (or, more often nowadays, finger to keyboard) is capable of not just organizing thoughts and changing the life of a shy little girl, it holds the possibility for the creation of alternate experiences and realities that truly are endless.

They published that?

If you're a writer, or maybe just an avid reader, you probably ask yourself the same question from time to time: "Why did they publish that?" Navigating the complicated labyrinth of the publishing world is difficult, and there is a myriad of literature competing with one another for the attention of the "big" publishers in New York. (Of course, there's also indie publishing and self-publishing available, but those involve their own challenges.) Still, sometimes I find myself halfway through a novel that somehow passed the critical eyes of the "Big Six" in NYC yet leaves me pondering, "What the heck?"

"How does this happen?" you may ask. First, let's play a game! Guess which of the following lines is from a published novel that went on to sell millions of copies:
A. "Up ahead they's a thousan' lives we might live, but when it comes it'll on'y be one."
B. "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
C. "His fingers were ice-cold, like he'd been holding them in a snowdrift before class."
D. "His voice is warm and husky, like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel...or something."


If you guessed "all of the above", you are correct! A is from The Grapes of Wrath; don't feel bad if you didn't recognize it, but Steinbeck's Depression-era novels are still frequently taught in schools (hence my teacher-ish choice). B is a relatively famous line from the Harry Potter series, which I'm willing to say is basically a classic as well by now...

Moving on...do the last two seem rather un-literary? If you said, "Hey, I'm not an amazing writer, but I could come up with better similes than those if you woke me out of bed at 2am after a rather celebratory evening", I would say that you're probably right. Still, this stuff sells millions. Somehow. C is from Twilight and D is from Fifty Shades of Gray. Both have even made it to the big screen.

Now, I'm not going to say that you shouldn't read those two books or that you're "not cool" if you liked them, but I will say that I wish there was a greater appreciation for quality literary fiction, both in the publishing realm and throughout the world at large. It depresses me when I see novel after novel of spine-less female characters surrounded by awkwardly-forced metaphors. These two books just happen to be the most popular examples that fit this common occurrence. Still, a part of me knows why it happens. After attending a few writing webinars and conferences, I've learned that most publishing success boils down to marketing. Publishers pick up what makes them the big bucks, and sometimes you might be amazed at what sells. I am probably a bit of a literary snob (though I try not to be; I'll read anything once!) so I sometimes feel annoyed when bad work is picked up and (worse!) sells millions of copies. You might say, "Sarah, how can it be so 'bad' if it sells millions?" Color me confused because I haven't a clue beyond the fact that those authors have great marketing techniques and publishers willing to put in the time to make sure that particular book is in your face everywhere you go. Their popularity spreads like a disease.

I have to admit, I fell for the Twilight craze back in the day (if you haven't read it, don't; if you have, check out the lovely parody entitled Nightlight- much more entertaining than the original), and though I felt unsatisfied with the main character's complete lack of personality and the cheesy writing, there was something very intriguing about the underlying plot of the story- I just wish someone else had scooped up the idea and written it better first! I can happily say that I haven't fallen for the 50 Shades craze, though if the rumors are true, this one is equally poorly written. Honestly, if I really want to hear some awkward metaphors for genitalia, I can just go back to teaching at the public high school. 

Before I sign off, I'll give you something to consider. Next time you hear of the next big "hit" book, don't be so quick to soak up the media's praise and pick it off the shelf. You, my reader friends, deserve much better than teenaged vampire love trysts and BDSM. Give the fad a little time and consider instead reading something with a positive message or a moral theme behind it. No, it doesn't have to be dull and dry; there are so many well-written, compelling novels out there that aren't million-copy sellers! Read something your awesome reader, librarian or teacher friends recommend. I know several other writers (a fortunate few are even published) who would be happy to point you in the direction of some quality reading material. Personally, I am a big fan of stories with a "rise of the underdog" theme and quirky kick-ass female leads, and both can be found in my own novels. I feel that, if I'm going to become a published writer, I should be creating characters and stories that deserve to be heard, not ones that bring people down. Even if I don't sell a million copies, I can be at peace with myself and be content that it's something I can share with my son in the future. 

Expectations During and After Labor

While talking with a pregnant friend, it again occurred to me that as new mothers, we are often expected to do certain things and to behave in a certain way. Sure, people won't typically go out and demand that you behave in a particular manner, but I feel that there are certain expectations. For instance, a lot of people are offended if a new mother doesn't breastfeed. Similarly, some people seem to be insulted if a mother isn't using cloth diapers, making homemade baby food, opting for all vaccinations on time, fitting their baby's life to the "appropriate" sleeping and eating schedule, and wearing the little one in a hip sling. Another latest trend in some of the mom blogs I've seen appears to be natural home births or hiring midwives and doulas as opposed to visiting your local OB/GYN.

While scrolling through mom blogs, I often come across mothers who also like to sign off with all sorts of crazy acronyms showing off their epic motherly lifestyle. (This always makes me feel like I'm back to teaching in the public school, where PDP, IEP, NCLB, PBIS, etc. are all commonly used.) These mothers are using phrases like EBF ("exclusively breastfeeding", if you're new to the mom blogosphere) among other crazy ones that I don't know. (I swear I saw "R2D2" in one tagline...what? Is your child a Star Wars fan or something?) Still, all of these mom blogs seem to have one thing in common: judgement!

On one blog, two moms were bickering about epidurals. One of the moms insisted that she was the better mother because she chose to have a natural birth at home sans drugs; the other insisted that hers was an especially difficult labor and that she relied on an epidural just to get through it. Watching these mothers go back and forth made me feel torn. Part of me felt like laughing at how people are so quick to judge online when they can wear the cloak of anonymity and know nothing of each others' situations. The other part of me felt sad. Instead of giving each other much-needed support during their new adventures into motherhood, these women felt that it was more important to argue about who was the "better" mom, based on random, ridiculous criteria.

I've been fortunate. I was blessed with a complication-free pregnancy and (though incredibly long) problem-free labor. Those contractions hurt like crazy, but I knew I didn't want an epidural, and I was able to get through without intervention. That's not the case for many pregnancies. I've read that as many as 1/3 of births end up in C-sections, and a large percentage of those are unplanned. Pregnancy and labor are very intense, body-altering events, and it's no surprise that complications occur. That being said, there is no reason to judge one mother for her decision to go through labor in her own way.

The same goes for any number of other of the latest baby trends. I breastfeed because it just works best for my son and me. It's not the best option for everybody, but I knew I wanted to try it and that it would be an affordable and healthy option for our little family. It was hard work at first, but, like most things, practice makes perfect. Now my son and I are an awesome breastfeeding team, and lately we're starting to integrate baby food (some homemade, some store-bought) into his diet, as well. Diapers are another one. Sure, I like the idea of using cloth diapers, and I think that it's a great way for babies to contribute in their own tiny way to saving the planet, but it just didn't work out for me. My son wanted my attention all the time, especially in his first few months, and I just didn't have a free minute between my online job (which conveniently began just 2 weeks postpartum) to wash out the cloths and to take on the extra laundry burden. I suppose if I was really motivated, I could have put in the time, but it just wasn't a top shelf priority for me. Scheduling is a huge item, as well. There are about 100,000 (I might be exaggerating, but I really don't think I am) books and blogs about how to put your baby on the "correct" sleep schedule. I've heard that the baby should sleep more during the day, less during the day, nap at the same times during the day, nap when he wants to, go to sleep before 7pm, never go to sleep until after 9pm, be snuggled and cuddled to sleep, be fed before bed, be forced to cry himself to sleep, etc., etc. All the information on that topic contradicts each other and it's all a matter of what works best for you and your baby.

People (mostly mothers, and particularly old-fashioned mothers of another era- though if you talk to these women long enough, you will hear of a time when formula was all the rage and disposable diapers were a futuristic dream) will tell you what you should do- during your pregnancy and labor, as well as when it comes to raising your child. Take the information that you can use and toss out the rest. Even from the very start, there's no one right way to raise a baby. My husband and I do what's best for us. Yes, we do read to him every day. No, we don't let him "cry it out". Yes, we do share a bedroom with the little guy, but, no, we didn't feel comfortable sharing the bed itself. We don't have a strict schedule and we don't try to control his sleeping and feeding times. We don't obsessively track his milestones, but we do excitedly take photos when he does something new! We encourage independence by letting him explore and play on his own (when he'll tolerate it). We try different things and stick with them when they seem to work. Every day is a learning experience, and I think that that's the way it's supposed to be.

Why you don't have to have it all together at 27...or possibly ever.

I'm not going to lie, back when I used to daydream through my high school Algebra class, this is not where I pictured my life at the ripe old age of 27 (hint of sarcasm, though I do feel kinda old lately). That's not to say I don't love my life as it is. I've been blessed with a loving, hard-working husband, a beautiful baby boy, and an awesome new job where I can work from home, allowing me time for my writing and to raise my son. I'm also fortunate enough to have an amazing circle of friends and family that are fun-loving, funny, and supportive. Honestly, life is good. However, at times I feel like I am putting together a puzzle starting with random pieces from the middle, instead of starting with the solid corner pieces...

I've recently been accepted into graduate school, where I plan to begin working towards a Master's of Arts in English this autumn. I hope to go on to earn my PhD in Creative Writing or Literature and teach at a university level...or to teach at a university level if I can wing it with just the MA. I also hold all of these lofty, highfalutin fantasies of becoming a published author. In other areas of life, I dream of owning a house somewhere out west (near a city but not a big city; not in the suburbs, but not totally in the boonies either- not that I'm picky or anything ;)) and adding to our little family. Of course, I have no way of knowing if any or all of these dreams will become a reality, but I have faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to go.

I think the part that makes me feel not-quite-so put together is the fact that I tend to do big "life events" out of order. I'm not sure where this supposedly correct outline of life first established itself, but it's been hard-pressed in my mind as the "right" way to do things, and I find myself cloaked in guilt whenever I do these things out of order. For instance, I always imagined that I would finish all of my education and really establish myself before I got married. Our wedding took place two months before my college graduation while I was student teaching and had approximately $50 in my savings account after my share of the wedding expenses. (My husband was starting his apprenticeship, so we were basically in the same boat.) I thought I'd be reasonably successful in my career by age 30, as opposed to returning to school just before my 28th birthday. I also assumed that I'd own a house before having any children. Well, that didn't happen either. I have to admit that when I occasionally see people engaging in these life events in what I'd always convinced myself was the "correct" order, I get a wee bit jealous. I think to myself, These are the really successful people. They have it all together. But then I hear stories of this issue or that, and I realize that nobody truly has everything figured out; it doesn't matter if they finished school first, scored a successful, high-paying career, got married, bought their dream house, and then settled in with two kids and a dog. Even if they've achieved these events in optimal order, they still have to deal with the daily stresses and issues of life; they don't get a free pass for doing things supposedly "correctly". Relationships, money, careers, family, etc. all bring happiness and heartache, but the beauty is in the eye of the beholder in every aspect of our lives. Though life may be unlike what we expect from time to time, the chaos can make it extra special, too. For instance, people can be happy living in a 400 square foot apartment, working 30 hours a week on top of an unpaid 40+ hour/week student teaching gig. (Trust me, I've been there.) Life events occur out of order. Stranger things have happened.

I can and am happy even while worrying about the future, even on the days when the going gets tough. I'm a firm believer that, when you put your faith in God, you can be happy in any and all situations, even the ones that make some people roll their eyes and squirm uncomfortably. And, no, you don't have to do life "in order" or have it "all together". Certainly not at 27. Maybe not ever.

5 Reasons Why Being a New Mom is Awesome (and Weird)

1. When you're pregnant, you engage in this bizarre experience where you are basically not one but two people. I guess you're not actually the second person, but you have to watch what you eat, drink, and do for the body you're sharing with mini-you. I thought that this double-person feeling would be over once my son was born, but we are still basically attached at the hip. Want to get lunch with me? The little dude is coming along. How about a spontaneous walk? Well, I have to get the little man bundled up, find the stroller, and..yeah, it might take a while. I'm guessing this kangaroo-type feeling will be around for at least the first year, if not a little longer...

2. Oh, so much love. During the hormone-ridden first days postpartum, I was looking at our newborn and burst into tears. My husband hurried over, saying, "What's wrong? Is he okay?" My response: "I just love him so much!" This was followed promptly by more tears. Though I am not quite as crazy as I was in the immediate days following the birth of our son, I still understand that intense mother bear feeling. It's difficult to put into words how much love you will actually feel for your child; it doesn't seem physically or emotionally possible until you've experienced it for yourself. It also makes you crazy-sauce. For example, you have the feeling that if someone dares to threaten your kid, you will literally gouge their eyes out. Literally. And I'm a fairly peaceful person. I can now relate to Liam Neeson's character in the movie Taken. I would break laws and kick all of those terrorists' asses running on nothing but caffeine and adrenaline; I wouldn't even need fancy weapons. I'm serious. Mothers are crazy (fathers, too, apparently). Don't threaten our kids. It's not worth your life.

3. Your old life dies, in a way, but you have a new beginning. In the days after the little man's birth, I was chalk full of emotions. A part of me felt that, now that I was a mom, the fun was officially over. No more parties, no more dates or nights out, no more freedom; my life was now cloaked in responsibility. After a few weeks, however, I realized that you can still do the things you love; life is just different. My husband and I can still go on dates; we just either need to take the little guy along or have a friend or family member babysit. We still spend time with friends and family; visiting others means an extra hand or two with the little guy, giving us an awesome, much-needed break. I can still get coffee, write, go shopping, and do other fun things with the baby; it just means investing more time into getting ready and being willing to cut plans short if he gets fussy. Sure things like attending Packer games, taking exotic trips and going clubbing aren't in our immediate future, but were they ever really common occurrences for us? Not really.

4. Every little thing the baby does is a minor miracle. It's an incredible feeling to watch your child grow and learn. You feel a strange sense of accomplishment, knowing that you created a person who is, well, basically doing the stuff that people are supposed to do... I have nil to zip carpentry skills, but I have the impression that it's the feeling of accomplishment one might get after building a house or something similarly impressive. Our guy is nearly 5 months old, so it's not like he does much yet, but it was awesome to see his first roll, the first time he reached for his feet, his first talking-like noises. I'm sure the more impressive milestones (crawling, walking, potty-training, first day of school, etc.) will be even more amazing!

5. Learning something new. I love learning things as I'm a teacher, an academic, and a natural-born student. Being a parent teaches you so much; for example, I've already learned patience, how to put a baby to sleep, patience, how to change a diaper in seconds basically anywhere, how to cure diaper rash, patience, determination (have you ever watched a 4-month-old spend 40 minutes trying to reach his toes?), nursing, patience, baby milestones, teething, etc. Oh, and have I mentioned patience? Each day makes me wonder what else I will learn about my son or from my son. His innocent little eyes see the whole world as fresh, exciting, and full of potential, and I hope that I can greet the world every day with the same amount of wonder and delight.